It's Not You, It's Me: Getting Lean

I feel like I'm going to raise a few eyebrows and get a few texts after people read what I'm about to write, so I'm going to preface this all with, my main goal isn't to lose weight, it's to lose body fat, get lean and decrease the amount of dimply-looking stuff on my legs.

I've never been the skinniest girl in the room (except during a brief period in 2006 and 2011, but I won't bore you with the white girl problems that brought those two instances on) and I am not striving to be the skinniest girl in the room, but with how active I am, I have always wondered why instead of trying to keep weight on, I've always had to try to keep weight off  - even when I was training for the Ironman, which btw, I actually lost a lot of weight after the Ironman, which I thought was bizarre...but I did stop eating $20 worth of mac and cheese from Whole Foods on Sundays because I wasn't riding 100+ miles then following it up with a 20 mile run, so maybe that had something to do with it? Regardless of a few past semi-unhealthy habits, I've always eaten pretty decent and always burned a ton of calories per week from training for whatever race. People have even made comments about it to me. Some of those comments have even made me self-conscious, for example an old friend, who I no longer consider a friend for many reasons including for comments like the one I'm about to share, said to me "with all the biking and running you do, I don't get why your legs still look the way they do," she was referring to the cellulite on them. Another person once said to me "I can't picture you having a lot of muscle, you've always been soft since I've known you," and this particular thing was said to me when I was training for my first 70.3 Ironman. I don't care how self-confident you are, when someone else points out a flaw in your body that you're already very well aware of, it hurts. Now granted the two people who said those hurtful things didn't have much influence in my life and weren't even in the position to judge because they only went to the gym in college to get food from The Bean, not actually workout, but still, those comments obviously have stuck with me over the years.

Enough about bitching about the past, because god knows I could go on for days about my flaws in terms of how I look, I am writing this post because after getting my body fat measured and talking with Jamie, one of my CrossFit coaches and the owner of Max Muscle in Cool Springs last week, someone has finally written out a food plan for me that will help me achieve my goal of leaning out. 

Last week I came in a 137lbs and 22% body fat, which isn't terrible because I am 5' 6" but not exactly where I want to be. On one positive note, I was actually surprised with my weight because apparently I have lost eight pounds since November. A few days later getting pinched and weighed, I ran into the owner of Franklin Strength, someone who I used to see on a regular basis until James got his own CrossFit space in January, and he commented on how it looked like I had lost some weight and toned up a little (which really felt good because he's not the type of throw out complements left and right). Also, according to the American Council on Exercise, coming in at 22% body fat means I'm "fit" but I don't want to just be fit, I want to kick some ass. 

I am officially starting the program tomorrow. Funny thing is, all of the stuff on my program, is stuff I already eat like eggs, turkey bacon, brussel sprouts, avocado and peanut butter, the only thing that really stands out to me is the timing of my meals - Jamie has got me eating eight times on the days I do CrossFit and seven times on the days I do cardio like Barry's Bootcamp or rest. So tomorrow morning before I get up to go to CrossFit Cool Springs, I am going to weigh myself so I can have a starting point and gauge my progress. Ideally I'd like to get between 15% and 16% body fat, but we'll see how these first couple weeks go. I'll keep you posted on my progress and if I feel hangry (hungry + angry) all the time...and if that's the case, I apologize in advance for whatever bitchy comment comes out of my mouth. It's not you, it's me. 

13.1 Hot Mess

Lately I've felt like if the phrase "hot mess" was in the dictionary, there would be a picture of me underneath the definition with no make up on in my gym clothes, weave all a mess under my Lululemon bang buster headband and grown out black shellac nails. This working from home thing is awesome, but it's also making me incredibly lazy when it comes to my personal apparence. I was in Seattle for seven days last week and I had to shower, wash my hair, put on make up and real clothes every day I was there because I was working and it was exhausting. Sometimes I wonder why guys don't ask me out more often and then I remember what I look like most days. I should probably work on that. 

Two big things going on in my life right now, well really one thing, I officially move into my condo on March 29 and the other big-ish thing (not really big, but something I'm looking forward to) is the CrossFit Games open workouts that take place over the span of five weeks.

The 13.1 workout. Whoever invented burpees must have been a real asshole

I did the first open workout on Saturday, 13.1 and I feel like they were taunting all the long distance runners turned wannabe CrossFitters with that name because 13.1 miles usually doesn't phase someone who puts in the miles, but before this 13.1 workout, I felt like I was going to puke. I legit felt like I did right before I swam the 200 fly back in the day. You know it's gonna hurt, you know it's gonna be ugly and you know your arms are going to feel like garbage when your done...but with this particular event, you can't dolphin kick 2/3's of the way each lap in an effort to try to save yourself. Former swimmer nerds, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Not to mention I barely knew how to snatch before I attempted the workout, so I stopped myself at 100 because I was so terrified I'd throw the 75lb bar over my head and miss catching it and end up back in the ER with another set of CrossFit induced stitches. Looking back, I'm pissed I didn't try at least one 75lb rep, but I guess there's always next year? My girlfriend hunting friend Sean came with me and killed it at the workout, he got to 150. Majorly impressed by his effort. Ladies, if you're looking for a stud athlete boyfriend, Sean is your man. And then we went to Barry's Bootcamp the next morning and regretted that decision the minute we got on the treadmill. Thankfully Josh the instructor didn't include burpees in the workout or else I feel like Sean and I would have been flopping around on the floor like a couple of dead fish. Here's the funny thing though, I think Sean and I are going to try to keep our little routine of doing the open workout Saturday and Barry's on Sunday up, so we shock our bodies into getting ready for beach season. Or at least that's how we're justifying our insanity.

As for my condo, like I said, I close and start moving in on the 29th. To me, my 1,200 square foot place is a mansion compared to the places I lived in while in Chicago, especially the last place I lived in, a 400 sq ft studio. I've got a 2+ car garage for my Mini Cooper and two bikes (anybody know anyone who needs to store a boat?!) and two bedrooms and two bathrooms. Both bedrooms have walk in closets, the shower in the master is huge and the guest bath is a good size as well, way bigger than any bathroom I had in Chicago. I bought an awesome purple sectional from Z Gallerie for the living room that I'm dying to see how it turned out. Yes, that's right a big purple couch. I am moving into Barbie's dream house.

The purple streak in my weave pretty much matches the color of my couch

I also bought myself a Kohler Moxie shower head for the master bath. I hope the sound proofing between units is good because if not, I at least hope my neighbors enjoy a little JT, Britney or the Skrillex Pandora station in the morning.

The housewarming party will be in May. Expect lots of bubbly and some Jello shots as a throw back to my dear friend Kelsey and I's days at DePaul. Should be a great time.

Kelsey and Jillian dance party circa 2008