I've never been the skinniest girl in the room (except during a brief period in 2006 and 2011, but I won't bore you with the white girl problems that brought those two instances on) and I am not striving to be the skinniest girl in the room, but with how active I am, I have always wondered why instead of trying to keep weight on, I've always had to try to keep weight off - even when I was training for the Ironman, which btw, I actually lost a lot of weight after the Ironman, which I thought was bizarre...but I did stop eating $20 worth of mac and cheese from Whole Foods on Sundays because I wasn't riding 100+ miles then following it up with a 20 mile run, so maybe that had something to do with it? Regardless of a few past semi-unhealthy habits, I've always eaten pretty decent and always burned a ton of calories per week from training for whatever race. People have even made comments about it to me. Some of those comments have even made me self-conscious, for example an old friend, who I no longer consider a friend for many reasons including for comments like the one I'm about to share, said to me "with all the biking and running you do, I don't get why your legs still look the way they do," she was referring to the cellulite on them. Another person once said to me "I can't picture you having a lot of muscle, you've always been soft since I've known you," and this particular thing was said to me when I was training for my first 70.3 Ironman. I don't care how self-confident you are, when someone else points out a flaw in your body that you're already very well aware of, it hurts. Now granted the two people who said those hurtful things didn't have much influence in my life and weren't even in the position to judge because they only went to the gym in college to get food from The Bean, not actually workout, but still, those comments obviously have stuck with me over the years.
Enough about bitching about the past, because god knows I could go on for days about my flaws in terms of how I look, I am writing this post because after getting my body fat measured and talking with Jamie, one of my CrossFit coaches and the owner of Max Muscle in Cool Springs last week, someone has finally written out a food plan for me that will help me achieve my goal of leaning out.
Last week I came in a 137lbs and 22% body fat, which isn't terrible because I am 5' 6" but not exactly where I want to be. On one positive note, I was actually surprised with my weight because apparently I have lost eight pounds since November. A few days later getting pinched and weighed, I ran into the owner of Franklin Strength, someone who I used to see on a regular basis until James got his own CrossFit space in January, and he commented on how it looked like I had lost some weight and toned up a little (which really felt good because he's not the type of throw out complements left and right). Also, according to the American Council on Exercise, coming in at 22% body fat means I'm "fit" but I don't want to just be fit, I want to kick some ass.
I am officially starting the program tomorrow. Funny thing is, all of the stuff on my program, is stuff I already eat like eggs, turkey bacon, brussel sprouts, avocado and peanut butter, the only thing that really stands out to me is the timing of my meals - Jamie has got me eating eight times on the days I do CrossFit and seven times on the days I do cardio like Barry's Bootcamp or rest. So tomorrow morning before I get up to go to CrossFit Cool Springs, I am going to weigh myself so I can have a starting point and gauge my progress. Ideally I'd like to get between 15% and 16% body fat, but we'll see how these first couple weeks go. I'll keep you posted on my progress and if I feel hangry (hungry + angry) all the time...and if that's the case, I apologize in advance for whatever bitchy comment comes out of my mouth. It's not you, it's me.
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